god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
