I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
