apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
