Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
