if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
