I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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