I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
