his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
