I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
