Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
