Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
