this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize