Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
