He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think your dad took our porno
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize