My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize
