never play flip cup with pint glasses
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
my god I love twenty year old dicks
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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