Me too!
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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