they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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