New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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