Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize