Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
