The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize