i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
