He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
