Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
