Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Sorry my hands just texted you
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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