Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
