before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
