Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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