Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
