New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
