I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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