Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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