i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
