omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize