she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize