i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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