hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
