I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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