Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
