Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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