just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
