Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
