brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
