Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
