I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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