I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
