Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
