mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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