I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I need to calm my uterus...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
