look no pants
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I am mentally ready for anal.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
