did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize