We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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