Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
