yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
