Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
