I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
