I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
