who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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