Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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