so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
