If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
