Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
