dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
