PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
